The Brutalist Report

The Onion

• Chicago Police Department Lowers Hiring Standards Amid Staffing Shortages [1288d]
• Exterminator Shows Off Trophy Room Filled With Mounted Heads Of Insects [1288d]
• Executive On Deathbed Requests Obituary Be Optimized For SEO [1288d]
• Astronomers Announce Moon Will Be Visible Tonight For First Time In 12 Hours [1288d]
• Kamala Harris Enrolls In 6-Week Coding Boot Camp [1288d]
• Chew Kraine [1289d]
• Therapist Gives Slight Wince Of Recognition After Hearing Which Friend Recommended Her To New Patient [1289d]
• Building Code Violation Fines Leave Landlord With No Choice But To Raise Rent [1289d]
• Dog Has Visible Erection In Shelter Photo [1289d]
• Guinness World Records Rules Giant New Zealand Potato Not Actually Potato [1289d]
• The Onion’s Guide To The Oscars: Best Picture [1289d]