The Brutalist Report

The Onion

• Second Camera Shows Surprise Guest Xi Jinping Backstage Reacting To Everything Biden Saying [5h]
• ‘But The Scary Balloon Popped, So They Went Back To Worrying About The Recession Monster,’ Says Joe Biden, Reading Illustrated Children’s State Of The Union [5h]
• ‘Eh…You Get The Picture,’ Says Biden, Ending State Of The Union 45 Seconds Into Speech [5h]
• AMC Now Basing Ticket Prices On Proximity To Guy Masturbating In Dark [12h]
• George Santos Panicking After Prospective Aide He Thought He Made Up Accuses Him Of Sexual Misconduct [12h]
• Man Fact: Did You Know? [14h]