The Brutalist Report

The Onion

• Pete Hegseth Wakes Up At 3 P.M. With Dozen Missed Calls From The Hague [2h]
• Man Proudly Saves $8 On Pubic Hair Trimmer [4h]
• Cory Booker Delivers Historic 25-Hour Wedding Vows [5h]
• Heaven Can’t Wait [8h]
• Cold As ICE [11h]
• Homeland Security Relaxes Species Requirements To Join ICE [11h]
• Earth Rumbles, Dishes Crash To Floor As Gerrymandering Rips Through House [11h]
• Nature Begins Reclaiming Chuck Grassley [11h]
• Haunted By Teenager Learning To Play Drums [11h]
• Tips For Repurposing Thanksgiving Leftovers [11h]