The Brutalist Report

The Onion

• Downer and Blitzin’ [16h]
• Ragú Unveils Sensory Deprivation Marinara Tank [20h]
• Congress Allocates $45 Million To Hang Fairy Lights Along U.S. Border [20h]
• Report: Electric Guitar Means This Likely Not Your Mother’s ‘Jingle Bells’ [20h]