The Brutalist Report

The Onion

• What Are Our Dietary Restrictions? [10m]
• Fiona Blythewood and Dexter Van Horne [10m]
• Report: It Probably Fine That 5-Year-Old Just Whizzed By On Lyft Scooter [10m]
• Man Returning From Near-Death Experience Recalls Angels Making Him Sign NDA [10m]
• Texas Doctor Tapes Pregnancy Pamphlet To Comatose Woman’s Forehead [18h]
• Allergic Swelling Leaves Kristi Noem’s Face Completely Recognizable [20h]
• Tourist Damages Museum’s Crystal-Covered Chair By Sitting On It [21h]
• Physicists Discover Never-Before-Seen Particle In Back Of Old Cupboard [21h]