The Brutalist Report

The Onion

• ‘Easy, Good Boy,’ Says UberEats Driver Trying To Hand Delivery To Man Without Getting Bit [1218d]
• Entire U.S. Police Force Flees Country After Hearing Gunman Inside Nation [1218d]
• Tearful Uvalde Residents Thank Police For Protecting Parking Lot From Gunman [1218d]
• Hyundai Recalls 239,000 Cars For Exploding Seat Belt Parts [1218d]
• Scientists Discover 90% Of Earth’s Atmosphere Made From Thoughts, Prayers [1218d]
• Things People Hate The Most About Public Transportation [1218d]
• Must-Read Reflections On The Reproductive Rights Battle [1218d]
• Ben Affleck Unfairly Turns The Tables By Opening Up About Our Writers’ Sex Lives, Messy Divorces, And Ongoing Struggles With Substance Abuse [1218d]
• Sacrificial Altar Comfier Than Expected [1218d]
• Bad Time For Greg Abbott To Reveal New Machine Gun Legs [1218d]
• Mitch McConnell: ‘Get Your Crying Done Now Because We’re Not Passing Shit’ [1218d]
• U.S. Birth Rate Rises For First Time Since 2014 [1218d]