The Brutalist Report

The Onion

• Pro-Life Herschel Walker Paid For Abortion, Report Says [1315d]
• Journalists Marvel At Maggie Haberman’s Ability To Get Man Who Never Shuts Up To Answer Questions [1315d]
• Backwoods Dietitians Recommend Squirrel As Essential Part Of Good Eatin’ [1315d]
• Scientists Find Dolphins Only Other Mammal That Jet Ski For Pleasure [1315d]
• Attendees Solemnly Flip Chairs Around To Sit Backwards At Coolio’s Memorial [1316d]
• Man Starting To Suspect Chess Opponent With All Queens Hustling Him [1316d]
• Kevin McCarthy Claims Lack Of Mental Health Services In Schools Got Him Where He Is Today [1316d]
• Identical Twins Unconcerned After Having Bodies Swapped By Lightning Strike [1316d]
• 2022 Nobel Prize Winners [1316d]
• What To Say To A Partner If You Gave Them An STI [1316d]
• Fishing Tournament Ends In Cheating Scandal After Weights Found In Walleye [1316d]
• FEMA Requires Flood Victims To Pass Drug Test Before Qualifying For Rescue [1316d]
• Newly Upgraded Tesla AI Makes Fart Noise Any Time It Runs Over Child [1316d]
• Half-Hearted Nod At Uber Driver Interpreted As Invitation To Discuss Eugenics [1316d]