The Brutalist Report

The Onion

• U.N. Chief Tells Climate Summit: Cooperate Or Perish [1281d]
• Republican Voters Given Toll-Free Number To Call If They Witness Legitimate Vote [1281d]
• Elderly Poll Watcher Doing Slow, Confused Job Of Intimidating Voters [1281d]
• Stressed-Out Woman Treats Herself To Additional $400 Of Credit Card Debt [1281d]
• Scientists Discover Fluffy Planet With Density Of A Marshmallow [1281d]
• Nursing Home CEO Afraid He’ll End Up In One Of Those Places He Owns [1281d]
• Most Brilliant Ways Elon Musk Plans To Make Twitter Profitable [1281d]
• Cheeks Of Adorable Pet Hamster Filled With Own Babies [1281d]
• Armed Conservative Monitoring Polling Site Disappointed How Few People Vote In Midterms [1281d]
• Kidnapper Not About To Wake Up At 5 A.M. To Abduct Jogging Woman [1281d]
• Obama Claims He’s Still President After Seeing How Susceptible Voters Are To Conspiracy Theories [1281d]