The Brutalist Report

The Onion

• Archaeological Dig Uncovers Ancient Race Of Skeleton People [1209d]
• China’s Population Drops For First Time In Decades [1209d]
• Aaron Rodgers To Decide Future By Consulting With Coven Of Trusted Witches [1209d]
• YouTube Speedrunner Becomes Full-Blown Fascist In Record Time [1209d]
• Parents Feel Safer Letting Kids Drink And Drive Under Their Roof [1209d]
• What To Say If You See A Coworker On Tinder [1209d]
• Cheap, Convenient, Addictive: How The Canned Tomato Industry Conspired To Get Teens Hooked On Red Gold [1209d]
• U.S. Blows Itself Up So China Can’t Have It [1209d]
• Man Who Donated Sperm 25 Years Ago Contacted By Young Man Claiming To Be Guy Who Drank All His Sperm [1209d]
• U.S. Cancer Death Rates Fall 33% Since 1991 [1209d]