The Brutalist Report

The Onion

• Staffer Waiting For Car Temporarily Leans Frozen Mitch McConnell Against Nearby Fire Hydrant [1013d]
• DeSantis Involved In Car Crash In Tennessee [1013d]
• Doctors Confirm McConnell Had A Stroke After Imagining A Happy Black Person [1013d]
• Elderly Senators Amused To Discover Their Strokes Syncing Up [1013d]
• House Panel Didn’t Expect UFO Whistleblower To Just Dump Alien On Table Like That [1013d]
• Man Who Said N-Word Standing Near Guitar Reaches Top Of Country Billboard Charts [1013d]
• The Feet Issue: Where They’re Going, Where They’ve Been [1013d]
• Most Famous Corporate Rebrands In History [1013d]
• Nation’s Mothers Announce They Don’t Even Know Why They Try [1014d]
• Study Finds Massive Uptick In Births 9 Months After International Carrot Day [1014d]
• Cheese Wheels Filled With 18 Pounds Of Cocaine Seized At Texas Border [1014d]
• Woman Desperately Trying To Unlock Phone With Face ID Like Old Man Begging Senile Wife To Recognize Him One Last Time [1014d]
• Biggest Benefits Slaves Got From Slavery [1014d]
• Henry Ford Museum Trades In Original Model T For 2008 Subaru Outback [1014d]