The Brutalist Report

The Onion

• Sha’Carri Richardson Fastest Woman In World After Winning 100-Meter Championship [984d]
• University Health Center Offers Students Free Roofies [984d]
• Trump Turns Self In To Atlanta Strip Club [984d]
• Body Language Expert Explains All Republican Debate Participants Just Finished Having Sex With Each Other [984d]
• 45-Year-Old Reverse-Aging Billionaire Announces His Dick Finally As Small As Baby’s [984d]
• Nation’s Liberals Anxiously Waiting With Unzipped Pants To Jerk Off To Trump Mug Shot [984d]
• Updated Texas Sex Ed Curriculum Instructs Children How To Stone Whores [984d]
• ‘The Glowing Ball State’, ‘Big Brighty’, ‘Ol’ Ouchy’: An Oral History Of The Sun [984d]
• Scientists Successfully Teach Gorilla To Buy Beer For Underage Teens [984d]
• Overreacting College Bans Fraternity Even Though Pledge Didn’t Die [984d]
• Fyre Festival 2 Announced Following Organizer’s Release From Prison [984d]
• Trump Supporters React To His Debate-Night Tucker Carlson Interview [984d]
• Group Of Driverless Cars Bounce Pedestrian Between Them [984d]
• Perdue Pledges To Plant One Chicken For Every Chicken Sold [984d]
• New MTA Train Operator Ends Up Lost On Back-Road Tracks In Middle Of Nowhere [984d]
• Deflating Chris Christie Whizzes Around Debate Stage After Being Popped By U.S. Flag Pin [985d]