The Brutalist Report

The Onion

• Bob Menendez Repeatedly Tries To Jam Gold Bar Into Courthouse Vending Machine [696d]
• Trump Reflexively Asks Michael Cohen To Silence Michael Cohen [696d]
• Fingers Too Greasy From Salami To Open Pepperoni [697d]
• Teetotalitarianism [697d]
• Florida Students Given Lifelike Dolls To Simulate Responsibility Of Owning Slave [697d]
• Crying Man Refuses To Take Boner Pills Unless They Strawberry Flavored [697d]
• Dead Whale Found On Bow Of Cruise Ship Entering New York [697d]
• Waterfront Sand Castle [697d]
• Nation’s Weeping Spouses Announce They Don’t Recognize The Person You’ve Become [697d]