The Brutalist Report

The Onion

• Biden Will Not Commute Son Hunter’s Sentence [152d]
• Frustrated Studio Execs Unsure How To Convince Public That Lego Pharrell Williams Movie Actually Happening [152d]
• Report: Every Place On Earth Has Wrong Amount Of Water [152d]
• That Show That’s ‘Game Of Thrones’ But Not Called That Has Record-Breaking Season Premiere [152d]
• A Day In The Life Of Samuel And Martha-Ann Alito [152d]
• Mortified Baby Hopes No One Notices She Shit Herself In Grocery Store [152d]
• Plastic 6-Pack Rings Conveniently Ensnare 6 Fish At Once [152d]
• Newest U.S. Aid Mission Just Single PowerBar Labeled ‘For Gaza’ Thrown Into Ocean [152d]
• Smithsonian Under Fire For Collection Of Nazi Memorabilia [152d]
• U.S. Curtain Master General Warns Of Increasing Number Of Creeps Behind Drapes [152d]