The Brutalist Report

The Onion

• Peter Thiel Rushes To Restart Glitching J.D. Vance During Commercial Break [57d]
• J.D. Vance: ‘I Saw Tim Walz Cavorting With The Ghost Of Karl Marx Beneath A Blood-Red Moon’ [57d]
• J.D. Vance Claims Haitian Immigrants Coming Into This Country To Make Him Look Stupid [57d]
• Norah O’Donnell To Candidates: ‘Tonight’s Debate Will Matter Just As Little As Both Of You’ [57d]
• Scientists Sequence DNA From 3,600-Year-Old Cheese [57d]
• Man Thinks His Dog Is Office Mascot [57d]
• Ethnic Name Copied And Pasted Into Email [57d]
• Tim Walz Stays Up All Night Making Shoe-Box Diorama Of Washington Crossing The Delaware [57d]
• Jimmy Carter Holds Open-Casket Birthday Party [57d]
• High School Quarterback Using Tire Swing To Practice Putting Head Through CT Scanner [57d]