The Brutalist Report

The Onion

• Cash-Strapped Subway Threatens To Reveal Identities Of Customers Who Eat Subway If They Don’t Pay [4d]
• Bear Costume Used In Elaborate Car Insurance Fraud Scheme [4d]
• Announcement Of Fourth Child Contains Conspicuous Lack Of Exclamation Points [4d]
• Trump Locks Bathroom Door So Elon Musk Can’t Follow Him In [4d]
• Overpaying For The Rest Of Your Fucking Life [4d]