The Brutalist Report

The Onion

• ABC Pays $15 Million To Settle Trump Defamation Suit [9d]
• Doctor Warns Of Damaging Effects Child Obesity Having On Mall Santas [10d]
• God Locks Heavenly Gates After Spotting Mormon Missionaries Milling Around Outside [10d]
• FEMA Administrator Resigns After Accidentally Playing Porn On Emergency Alert System [10d]