The Brutalist Report

The Onion

• Pete Hegseth Deploys 3,000 U.S. Troops On Beer Run [165d]
• Woman Contaminates Grocery Store Food With Urine For Years [165d]
• Best Picture Winner ‘Kissing The Martinet’ Faces Backlash After Fans Learn Movie Not Real [165d]
• Kylie Jenner Admits She’d Like To Go On One Date That Isn’t Awards Ceremony [165d]
• Movie Theater Ceiling Collapses During ‘Captain America’ Screening [165d]
• What To Know About ‘The Pitt’ [166d]
• Couple Forced To Sit Next To Dead Body On Plane For 4 Hours After Woman Dies Midflight [166d]
• Trump’s First 100 Days [166d]
• Desensitized ‘Prairie Home Companion’ Fan Seeks Out Gentler And Gentler Material [166d]
• Passengers Rush To Arriving Train’s Doors Like Rat Babies Nursing At Mother’s Teats [166d]
• Vice Precedent [166d]
• Tim Walz Calls On Fellow Democrats To Return His Tupperware [166d]
• ‘The Substance’ Snags Oscar For Best Goo [166d]