The Brutalist Report

The Onion

• Dejected Schumer Superfan Can’t Believe He Dropped $10,000 On VIP Party Package [147d]
• Senile Grandma Tries To Set Up Grandkids With Each Other [147d]
• Texas Implements Mandatory 6-Month Quarantine For Anyone Who Has Watched ‘Will And Grace’ [147d]
• Overdue Library Book Returned After 99 Years [147d]
• Oversized Leprechaun Hat Left At Home On St. Patrick’s Day To Avoid Damaging It [147d]
• Stepson Liked With All Of Man’s Heart [147d]
• The Onion’s Exclusive Interview With Lady Gaga [147d]