The Brutalist Report

The Onion

• Man Gets Stuck In Chimney While Trying To Rescue Dog Trapped In Building [8d]
• Jeff Bezos’ Italian Wedding By The Numbers [8d]
• Andrew Cuomo Subpoenas Gynecological Records Of Women Who Didn’t Vote For Him [8d]
• Bezos Wedding Guests Delighted By Amazon Worker With Ring Tied To Collar Crawling Down Aisle [8d]
• Bezos Wedding Guests Given Monogrammed Plastic Bottles To Urinate In During Ceremony [8d]
• Improperly Dressed Applebee’s Diner Provided Loaner Stained Hoodie [8d]
• Parenting Experts Warn Babies Can Hydroplane In As Little As One Inch Of Water [8d]