The Brutalist Report

The Onion

• Tom Brady Cancels Retirement After 2 Months [1295d]
• Supreme Court Justices Sheepishly Admit All Of Their Spouses Attended Jan. 6 Riot [1295d]
• AARP Offers Honorary Membership To Young People Whose Lives Are Essentially Over [1295d]
• Oil Companies Lament Rising Price Of Joe Manchin [1295d]
• Kamala Harris Nudges Stack Of Papers Off Desk To Distract Aide Before Twisting Office Clock To 5 P.M. [1295d]
• Lies All Landlords Use To Try And Raise Your Rent [1295d]
• Professor Not Buying Student’s Bullshit About Having To Play In NCAA Tournament [1295d]
• Gun-Wielding Carjacker Demands Driver Exit Vehicle And Stop Writing Down Badge Number [1295d]
• Report Finds Average U.S. High Schooler Writes Manifesto At 2nd-Grade Level [1295d]
• Goldendoodle Not Good With People Who Earn Less Than 6 Figures [1295d]
• Hidden Valley Unveils 2-Carat Lab-Grown Diamond Made From Ranch Seasoning [1295d]