The Brutalist Report

The Onion

• Israel Deploys Low-Speed Targeted Rockets That Follow Individual Palestinians Around Throughout Day [1107d]
• Math, Reading Test Scores Plummet During Pandemic [1107d]
• NFL To Begin Filling Players With Extra Blood To Boost Ratings [1107d]
• Celebrities Explain Why They Date Younger Partners [1107d]
• Child Not Allowed To Leave Dinner Table Until He Finishes 72-Ounce Porterhouse [1107d]
• Claw Machine Dragging Across Toy’s Back Like That Probably Feels Pretty Good [1107d]
• Fantasy Football Player Instinctively Boos At Own Draft Picks [1107d]
• Investigators Seize 27 Antiquities From Met Museum, Citing Looting [1107d]
• Shocking Video Captures Calm Police Officers Handling Situation Nonviolently [1107d]
• Distraught Factory Farmer Knew He Shouldn’t Have Named All 7,000 Pigs [1107d]