The Brutalist Report

The Onion

• Avian Flu Kills 50 Million Birds In Record U.S. Outbreak [1254d]
• Bob Dylan Apologizes For Machine-Printed ‘Signatures’ [1254d]
• Jerry Jones Blasts Media For Trying To Make Segregation Look Bad [1254d]
• MLB Owners Hold Separate Meeting For Teams Actually Trying To Win Next Season [1254d]
• Elon Musk Announces Plans To Implant Tesla In Human Brain Within 6 Months [1254d]
• 8,000 U.S. Soldiers Accidentally Tear-Gassed During Morale-Boosting Activity [1254d]
• Over-50 Dating App Filters Matches Solely By Whether They’d Stay If You Got Parkinson’s [1254d]
• Banned Users React To Elon Musk Allowing Them Back On Twitter [1254d]
• Man Wakes Up Early To Take In Majestic December Sunset [1254d]
• Fate Of Christmas Uncertain After Eric Adams Institutionalizes Real Santa [1254d]