The Brutalist Report

The Onion

• Tim Cook Takes 40% Pay Cut [1211d]
• Homeless Matt Damon Forced To Sell Kidney After Losing Everything In Crypto Pump And Dump Scheme [1211d]
• Man’s Family Too Ugly To Elicit Incestuous Fantasies [1211d]
• Debt-Ridden 4th-Grader Shouldn’t Have Recklessly Invested In Lunch [1211d]
• Wistful Woman Doesn’t Want Kids But Still Wants To Name People [1211d]
• 2024 Election To Be Decided By Whoever Can Keep Hand On White House The Longest [1211d]
• Things People Hate The Most About Nepotism Babies [1211d]
• Black Woman Doesn’t Want To Admit She Actually Does Know Random Other Black Woman Coworker Brought Up [1211d]