The Brutalist Report

The Onion

• Marrying Woman Who Doesn’t Eat Her Pizza Crusts Best Decision Man Ever Made [1176d]
• Catalytic Converter Stolen From Oscar Mayer Wienermobile [1176d]
• Compassionate Pete Buttigieg Cuts Train’s Brake Lines So It Can Run Free [1176d]
• Rick Moranis Announces Plan To Pop Into Your Head Right Before You Orgasm [1176d]
• Mature Cat Not Going To Waste Time Chasing Laser That Doesn’t Want Her [1176d]
• Rihanna Loves Using Pregnancy As Excuse To Take Good Seats On Bus [1176d]
• Politicians Explain Why TikTok Should Be Banned [1176d]
• Evangelical Leaders Announce J.K. Rowling Finally Bigoted Enough That It’s Okay For Kids To Read About Witchcraft [1176d]
• ‘Layoffs A-Comin’,’ Whispers Wizened Office Sage Staring Out Over Horizon [1176d]
• Girlfriend Makes Fun Of Man For Loving Sports Even Though She’s Obsessed With Taking Care Of Dying Mother [1176d]