The Brutalist Report

The Onion

• Norfolk Southern CEO’s Testimony Cut Short After Train Derails Into Capitol Building [1157d]
• Aaron Rodgers Reflects On Life Choices After Jets Emerge As Only Potential Suitor [1157d]
• Mitch McConnell Bankrupted By 3-Day Stay In Hospital [1157d]
• NFL’s Reinstatement Of Calvin Ridley Sponsored By FanDuel [1157d]
• McConnell Hospitalized After Fall At Dinner Event In D.C. Hotel [1157d]
• SpaceX Crew Member Realizes He Fired After Being Locked Out Of Capsule [1157d]
• Trump One-Ups Ron DeSantis By Claiming He Tortured More Prisoners At Guantánamo Bay [1158d]
• Netflix Asks Any Men Thinking Of Killing Their Families To Just Contact Them Directly First [1158d]
• Speaker At Human Genome Editing Conference Just Wants To Know Where Colleagues Stand Before Pulling Curtain Off Giant Cage [1158d]
• The Most Controversial Moments At The Oscars [1158d]
• ‘There’s No Rule That The Controls Have To Be In The Head,’ Says Giant Robot Operator Piloting From Crotch Deck [1158d]
• MrBeast Re-Blinds 1,000 People [1158d]
• The Onion Reviews ‘Scream VI’ [1158d]
• New Evidence Finds Christ Used Followers’ Money On Lavish Fleet Of Private Donkeys [1158d]
• Could You Pass The Mental Competency Test For Politicians Over 75? [1158d]
• Timid Man Gets Little Rush Out Of Curtly Replying ‘K’ To Landlord [1158d]