The Brutalist Report

The Onion

• 2 Million Dimes Stolen From Truck In Philadelphia Parking Lot [1118d]
• Trump Takes Out Full-Page Newspaper Ad Calling For Death Penalty For Himself [1118d]
• Police Read Wealthy Suspect Special Miranda Warning Outlining Right To Impunity [1118d]
• Woman Finally Forgives Self For Eating Entire Donut All Those Years Ago [1118d]
• Hobby Lobby Announces It Muslim Now [1118d]
• Man Pleasantly Surprised After Murdering Daughter’s Killer Does Bring Her Back [1118d]
• Report: Your Friends Do Impressions Of You Behind Your Back [1118d]
• Weapons Of Gas Destruction [1118d]
• Missing Dog Returns Home After 150-Mile Trek Across Bering Sea Ice [1119d]
• Conservatives Explain Why Child Marriage Should Be Legal [1119d]
• Conflict-Avoidant Vending Machine Accepts Canadian Coin [1119d]