The Brutalist Report

The Onion

• New ‘Zelda’ Game Offering Man Much-Needed Escape From Daily Grind Of Playing Other Video Games [1092d]
• Title 42 Expires [1092d]
• New Twitter CEO Asked To Watch ‘The Matrix’ As Part Of Onboarding Process [1092d]
• Nation’s Mothers Describe How Nice It Would Be If You Lived Closer [1092d]
• Man Tries To Sneak Out Of Hammock Morning After Sex [1092d]
• America Is An Out-Of-Touch Gerontocracy, And I’m Glad I Don’t Live There [1092d]
• Hims Announces Monthly Gun Delivery For Men Who Refuse To Be Emasculated Any Longer [1092d]
• Trump Supporters React To His Sexual Battery Verdict [1093d]
• Mysterious Figure Impossibly Disappears Behind Passing Wienermobile [1093d]
• Things To Never Say To A ‘Karen’ [1093d]
• Man Secretly Watches Own Funeral From Inside Coffin After Faking Death [1093d]
• Texas School Picture Day Photographer Expands Offerings To Include Memorial Posters [1093d]
• Woman Turning Womb Into Personal Gym As Soon As Baby Moves Out [1093d]