The Brutalist Report

The Onion

• U.S. Invests $1.2 Billion For Carbon Removal [995d]
• ‘Ah, Pissing, I Love To Piss,’ Says Ron DeSantis Attempting To Strike Up Conversation With Voter [995d]
• New Florida School Curriculum Requires Students To Keep Eyes Shut Tight All Day Until Safe At Home [995d]
• 2,000-Room Luxury Resort Appears Overnight From Charred Maui Wreckage [995d]
• FBI Fatally Shoots Man Accused Of Threatening Biden [995d]
• Mohawk Has Bald Spot [995d]
• CEO Promotes Self To Senior CEO [995d]
• Unclear For Whose Benefit Unloved Man Keeps Trimming His Pubic Hair [995d]
• Report: Your Friends Do Impressions Of You Behind Your Back [995d]
• White People Explain Why Diversity Initiatives Are Discriminatory [995d]
• Woman Flattered Doctor Thinks She Has Eating Disorder [995d]
• Every Season Finale Of Drama Ends With Close-Up Of Supposedly Dead Character’s Eyes Springing Open [995d]