The Brutalist Report

The Onion

• Woman Who Assaulted Chipotle Worker Sentenced To Fast Food Job [870d]
• Hunter Biden Prepares For Court By Drawing Tie On Bare Chest [870d]
• Putin Distraught Over Friends Who Keep Dying Under Mysterious Circumstances [870d]
• Israel Assures It Doing Everything Possible To Minimize Civilians [870d]
• This Week's Most Viral News: December 8, 2023 [870d]
• Politicians Explain Why Criticizing Israel Should Be Illegal [870d]
• Self-Esteem From Finding Well-Fitting Garment Immediately Undercut By Label Indicating Maternity Wear [870d]
• Trump Says He Would Only Be A Dictator On ‘Day One’ Of Second Term [870d]
• Biden Campaign Tugs At Voters’ Heartstrings With New Ad Showing Candidate Eating All Alone At Olive Garden [870d]
• Sturdy Midwestern Gal Shields Rest Of Nation From Gust Of Wind [870d]
• Leonardo DiCaprio Tears Fabric Of Universe Apart Attempting To Have Sex With Girl Not Yet Born [870d]