The Brutalist Report

The Onion

• Ho, Ho, Ho! I Started Dating Mrs. Claus When She Was 14! [850d]
• Millions Of Americans Celebrate Christmas [850d]
• Childhood Memory Of Kissing Cousin Suddenly Bubbles To Surface During Game Of Charades [850d]
• Masturbating Man Valiantly Fights Through Dozens Of Instant Messages [850d]
• Mom’s Main Contribution To Political Discussion Occasional Disgusted Scoffing Noise [850d]
• Parents Get Up Early To Place Santa Droppings Around Living Room To Convince Children He Visited [850d]