The Brutalist Report

The Onion

• Woman Arrested For Stealing $28,000 In Gas With Rewards Card [761d]
• Backpedaling Aaron Rodgers Meets With Sandy Hook Parents To Brag About How Fast Achilles Healed [761d]
• New Dispensary Promises Customers Tantalizing Taste Of The Forbidden Fruit That Is Marijuana [761d]
• Chicago Temporarily Stops Dyeing River Brown For St. Patrick’s Day [761d]
• Airbnb To Ban Indoor Security Cameras [761d]
• Owner Of Shuttered Hermit Crab Kiosk Probably Retired To Private Tropical Island [761d]
• I See You, Report Sources Looking Through Empty Paper Towel Roll [761d]
• Things Stepparents Should Never Say To Their Stepchild [761d]
• Boeing Promotes Mysterious Employee Known Only As ‘The Panther’ [761d]
• Nutritionists Recommend Shaking Stomach While Yelling ‘Stop Being Hungry’ [761d]
• Hitman Keeps Trying To Upsell Client On Dissolving Target’s Corpse In Vat Of Acid [761d]