The Brutalist Report

The Onion

• GigSlave Goes Public With $84 Billion Valuation [13d]
• Report: Honestly, Man You Saw Get Hit By Bus Can’t Stop Thinking About You Either [13d]
• Poll Finds Majority Of Americans Would Support Wind Turbines If They Sliced Deli Meat As Well [13d]
• Long Time No Semen [13d]
• Philadelphia Enjoys Quiet Week Of Super Bowl Victory Reflection [13d]
• Investigation Finds Elon Musk’s Hair-Plug Guy Given Highest Security Clearance [13d]
• Man With Fogged-Up Glasses Forced To Finish Soup Using Other Senses [14d]