The Brutalist Report

The Onion

• Dunkin’ Pastries Included In Massive Recall [12d]
• Musk Signals Willingness To Bid More Than $97 Billion To Acquire Respect [12d]
• Trump Orders Treasury To Stop Minting Pennies [12d]
• Man So Hungry He Could Eat An Orange [12d]
• Anti-Aging Millionaire Announces He Has Put In Purple Contact Lenses [12d]
• Jerry Jones Signs 15-Year, $500 Million Life Extension [12d]