The Brutalist Report

The day's headlines delivered to you without bullshit. Last updated Tuesday, September 16, 2025 5:00 AM (PT).

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The Onion

Patriots To Stop Serving Alcohol To Players After 3rd Quarter [8d]
Micah Parsons Unnerved By Deafening Roar Of 80,000 Packers Fans Catching Breath [8d]

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