The Brutalist Report

The Onion

• Trump Claims He Can’t Be Expected To Remember Every Birthday Card He Sends To Child Molesters [6d]
• 4-Year-Old Accepted Into Mensa [6d]
• Poll Finds Most Desirable Quality In   Romantic Partner Is Being Jacked Centaur [6d]
• Lab Rat [6d]
• Megan Haloiti and Patrick Leigh [6d]
• Stephen Miller’s Forehead Vein Lunges Out To Catch Passing Bird [6d]
• DOGE Employees Dig Up Arlington National Cemetery [6d]