The Brutalist Report

The Onion

• Keys, Spare Change Fly Out Of Luge Athlete’s Pocket On First Turn [13d]
• Report: Less Than 14% Of Those Arrested By ICE Had Criminal Record [13d]
• DraftKings Introduces In-Dream Betting [13d]
• Study Finds Macaws Evolved Vibrant Coloration To Pass The Time [13d]
• Allen Goltham and Ryne Baxter [13d]
• Mom Strong Arms Cashier Into Accepting Expired Coupon [13d]