The Brutalist Report

The Onion

• Potomac River Flooded With 240 Million Gallons Of Sewage [3d]
• Alysa Liu Uses Gold Medal To Gauge Ear [3d]
• Trump Suffers Setback Unrelated To Child Rape [3d]
• Aide Wearily Begins 5th Explanation Of Why Trump Can’t Pardon Prince Andrew [3d]
• Dad Urges Daughter To Show Off High School Spanish With Guy On Street Speaking Spanish [3d]