The Brutalist Report

The Onion

• Britain Ejects Hereditary Nobles From Parliament After 700 Years [4d]
• Pete Hegseth Questions What Girls Were Doing In School To Begin With [4d]
• U.S. Suffers Additional Casualties In War It Won Last Week [4d]
• Uber Introduces Women-Only Option Nationwide [4d]
• Health Speculations Swirl After Trump Screams, ‘Fuck! I’m Dying!’ [4d]
• Justin Trudeau Finally Comfortable Enough To Keep Brown Face Paint At Katy Perry’s [4d]
• Political Profile: James Talarico [4d]
• Oreo and Binx [4d]
• Study: Humans Evolved Opposable Thumbs To Signal ‘All Good’ To Buddies After Falling Off Roof [4d]
• ‘Do It!’ Shout Wincing Trump Boys Cutting Off Hair To Avoid Draft [4d]
• The Onion’s 2026 Oscars Best Picture Guide [4d]
• Horse Cast As Horse In Live Action ‘Tangled’ Remake [4d]