The Brutalist Report

The Onion

• Sandra Bullock Regrets ‘Practical Magic 2’ After Realizing She Could’ve Just Had Dinner With Nicole Kidman [2d]
• Trump Promises To Take $5,000 From Every American If Democrats Win Midterm [2d]
• Wired For Performance: The Cutting-Edge Tech Of NFL Uniforms [2d]
• MLB Attempts To Increase Fan Engagement By Providing Ball With Emotional Backstory [2d]
• Woman Sleeps Her Way To Top Of Family [2d]
• Savannah Bananas Commemorate 9/11 With Solemn ‘Macarena’ Performance [2d]
• Australia Bans AI Music From Charts [2d]
• 25 Years Later, Nation Still Miffed [2d]
• What To Know About The 2026 Emmys [2d]
• Boning Up [2d]
• Ella-Lousie Bauer and Aron Howell [2d]