The Brutalist Report

The Onion

• Angels Set Off Fireworks To Celebrate Base Hit [40d]
• Nervous Mariska Hargitay Calms Self Down By Picturing Audience Brutally Murdered [40d]
• Trump Promises Americans $5,000 If GOP Maintains Control Of Congress [40d]
• Plantation-Style Home [40d]
• Phoebe Bridgers Postpones Concert After Experiencing Twinge Of Happiness [40d]
• NFL Announces One Player On Each Team Now Gets To Drive A Car [40d]
• Player Profile: Pete Crow-Armstrong [40d]
• Fertility Experts Discover Rare Deep-Ball Sperm At Bottom Of Testes [40d]
• God Horrified To Find Humans Eating Sacred, Omniscient Potatoes [40d]