The Brutalist Report

The Onion

• U.S. Soccer And Players Agree To Equal Pay In New Contracts [1225d]
• Weird Things Our Boyfriend Does When He’s Home Alone [1225d]
• Fetus Steps Outside Womb For Quick Cigarette Break [1225d]
• NYPD Arrests Colombian Turnstile Lord Behind Massive Turnstile-Jumping Ring [1225d]
• Elon Musk Accuses Own Genitals Of Being Far-Left Actor With Axe To Grind [1225d]
• Excuses Men Use To Not Get Married [1225d]
• Knife-Wielding Tesla Kills Pedestrian [1225d]
• Ringling Bros. Announces Comeback Tour Without Animal Acts [1225d]
• Embarrassed Man Frantically Clears Search History After Googling Jets’ Playoff Chances [1225d]
• Timeline Of Tucker Carlson’s Career [1225d]
• Elderly Man Spends Afternoon Feeding Self To Ducks [1225d]