The Brutalist Report

The Onion

• Las Vegas Chapels Told By Licensing Company To Stop Elvis-Themed Weddings [1211d]
• Horny Fact: Did You Know? [1211d]
• ‘No Way To Prevent This,’ Says Only Nation Where This Regularly Happens [1211d]
• Teachers React To Yet Another School Shooting [1211d]
• Kim Catrall At 65: Brash, Independent, Gaseous, Engulfed In Flame, And On A Collision Course With The Earth [1211d]
• Planned Parenthood Mounts Giant IUD Atop Headquarters To Harness Sperm-Killing Power Of Lightning [1211d]
• Pros And Cons Of Casinos [1211d]
• Donda Sports Sets Modest Goal Of Only Ruining A Few Athletes’ Careers In First Year [1211d]
• 35-Year-Old Unsure Why He Underwhelmed By First-Place Win In Magic: The Gathering Tournament [1211d]
• Bored Defense Department Bombing Empty Cans Off Fence Out Back Behind Pentagon [1211d]
• Robot Orders Increase 40% Amid Labor Shortage [1211d]
• FEMA Director Claims Spending Life Preparing For Natural Disasters No Way To Live [1211d]