The Brutalist Report

The Onion

• Economists Recommend Striking Oil [1210d]
• Queen Elizabeth Gets Horse As Jubilee Gift From France’s Macron [1210d]
• Biden Now Just Delivering Continuous, Up-To-The-Minute Speech Mourning Shooting Victims [1210d]
• Scientists Discover Humans, Chimps Shared Common Friend [1210d]
• School Practices Drill For When There’s Not An Active Shooter [1210d]
• Texas Passes Mandatory 24-Hour Waiting Period Before Police Can Engage Active Shooters [1210d]
• Babe Ruth Comparisons Grow After Hammered Shohei Ohtani Eats 53 Hot Dogs [1210d]
• Locust-Swarmed Queen Elizabeth Announces 1,000-Year Reign Of Chaos During Brimstone Jubilee [1210d]
• ‘You Think You Can Do My Job, Be My Guest,’ Says Cop Berating Traffic Cone [1210d]
• Scientists Discover Biggest Plant On Earth [1210d]
• Problematic Disney Attractions That Had To Be Redesigned [1210d]
• The Onion’s Test Sweatshop Helps You Find The Perfect Car [1210d]
• Enlightened Judge Sentences Murderer To Ego Death By Means Of Ayahuasca [1210d]
• FIFA Increases Revenue By Requiring Brand Tattoos For All Players [1210d]