The Brutalist Report

The Onion

• Wealthy Parents Surprise Graduating Child With Judge Who Will Let Him Off Hook For Future Rape Accusations [1088d]
• Eric Adams Praised As Man Of The People For Masturbating On Subway [1088d]
• High Schoolers Make Pact To Lose Developing Fetuses Before Graduation [1088d]
• Timberlake Fact: Did You Know? [1088d]
• The Onion’s Exclusive Interview With Dianne Feinstein [1088d]
• Texas Teacher Wearing Gun On Lanyard [1088d]
• Ron DeSantis Holds Press Conference To Slurp Custard Off The Ground [1088d]
• FDA Paves Way For More Gay, Bisexual Men To Donate Blood [1088d]
• Trans Teen Hatches Nefarious Plot To Undergo Years Of Medical Treatments And Counseling To Win At Swimming [1088d]
• Man Plagued By Intrusive Thoughts Of Wanting To Help Others [1088d]
• Girl Who Lost Mother At Young Age Forced To Learn From Other Female Figures In Life That She Fat [1088d]