The Brutalist Report

The Onion

• Politicians Explain Why They Will Not Endorse A Ceasefire [910d]
• Study Finds Drinking Children’s Blood No More Effective Than Regular Blood At Achieving Eternal Life [910d]
• God Throws Celibate Monk Pity Wet Dream [910d]
• EPA Sets Cap On How Much Carbon Trees Can Absorb [910d]
• CEOs Announce Plans To Be Total Fucking Freaks When You Run Into Them In The Bathroom [910d]
• World’s Oldest Dog Ever Dies At 31 [910d]
• Kamala Harris Wears Sad Little Bat Headband Alone At Desk For Halloween [910d]
• Happy Person Must Either Be Stupid Or Evil [910d]
• Parents Explain Why ‘Bluey’ Is Too Woke [910d]
• Nick Cannon Opens Adoption Agency [910d]