The Brutalist Report

The Onion

• Birth Of White Buffalo In Yellowstone Fulfills Lakota Prophecy [157d]
• Study Finds Wild Elephants Call One Another By Name [158d]
• Heroic Pitbull Journeys 2,000 Miles To Attack Owner [158d]
• National Archives Intern Tasked With Singeing Edges Of Constitution To Make It Look Old [158d]
• Petco Introduces New Automatic Dog Launcher [158d]
• Biden Reveals He’s Delta Force Operative Robert Scott Investigating Major Government Cover-Up [158d]