The Brutalist Report

The Onion

• Assad Flees Syria After Rebels Capture Damascus [28d]
• College Student Explains What It Like To Be First In Family Forced To Drink Own Urine In Frat House [28d]
• MrBeast Offers To Give $1 Million To First PersonWho Can Teach Him To Blink [28d]
• Aaron Rodgers Shows Rookies How To Break Down Zapruder Film [28d]
• Daze Of Whine And Poses [28d]
• Dollar General Tests Same-Day Delivery [28d]
• Pompous Geese Fly In Cursive V Formation [28d]
• Assad Returns To Ophthalmology At Moscow LensCrafters [28d]
• More Parents Say Allowing Child To Play Football Not Worth Risk Of Being Drafted By Jets [28d]