The Brutalist Report

The Onion

• Mega Millions Raises Price Of Tickets To $5 [117d]
• Report: Recession Fears Forcing More Americans To Hold Off On Retiring From Presidency [117d]
• RFK Jr. Orders Removal Of Sinks From HHS Bathrooms [117d]
• Roseanne Barr’s Illiteracy Charity Snatches 100 Millionth Book From Child [117d]
• Nestlé Buys E.Coli For $2.3 Billion [117d]
• Everything You Always Wanted, Right? [117d]
• Patrick Schwarzenegger Worried ‘White Lotus’ Role Will Typecast Him As Hand Job Recipient [117d]
• Man Who Bumped Tesla While Parallel Parking Sentenced To Death [117d]
• Florida Gators Climb Ladder With Scissors To Circumcise Dick Vitale [117d]