The Brutalist Report

The Onion

• Chili’s Customers Suffer Burns From Drinking Margaritas Made With Cleaning Agent [2d]
• Polls Close Early As Reward For Everyone’s Hard Work [2d]
• Steve Kornacki Crushes Millions Of Tiny Voters While Sliding Hand Across Electoral Map [2d]
• GOP Sees Surge In Turnout From First-Time Voter Intimidators [2d]
• Tips For Moving Abroad [2d]
• Nation Lines Up In Droves To Humiliate Nate Silver [2d]
• Neglectful Voter Forced To Fill Out 6 Years’ Worth Of Back Ballots [2d]