The Brutalist Report

The Onion

• Report: Some Tick Bites Causing Lifelong Red Meat Allergies [1434d]
• New Abortion Waiting Period Law Requires Women To Spend Night In Creepy Old House On Hill [1434d]
• ‘Guess That Makes Him Or Her Some Kind Of American Hero, Huh?’ Says Supreme Court Leaker Discussing News With Coworkers [1434d]
• Justice Alito Somberly Ties Noose After Realizing He Not Mentioned In Constitution [1434d]
• Nation Forced To Seek Human Rights From Back-Alley Supreme Court [1434d]
• Abbey In UK Seeking To Break World Record For Largest Vampire Gathering [1434d]
• What To Say To Someone Considering Abortion [1434d]
• All Tuckered Out [1434d]
• Parents Support Son’s Dream Of Becoming NASCAR Driver By Putting Up 2.5-Mile Motor Speedway In Backyard [1434d]
• Highway Safety Ad Urges Drunk Drivers Not To Text [1434d]
• Court Delays Inmate’s Execution To Brainstorm Even Grislier Method [1434d]
• Americans Bring ‘Souvenir’ Artillery Shell To Israel Airport [1434d]
• Man Opening Mailbox Again Knows He Still Won’t Find Anything To Eat In There [1434d]