The Brutalist Report

The Onion

• Kryptonite Introduces New 15-Ton Bike Anchor [1122d]
• Drying Danube River Reveals Thriving Underwater Society Of Nazis [1122d]
• Michigan Jury Convicts 2 Men Of Conspiring To Kidnap Gretchen Whitmer [1122d]
• Should Animals Have More Eyes? [1122d]
• Dr. Fauci To Step Down: A Career Retrospective [1122d]
• New Humane Bug Spray Makes Insects Cum So Hard They Die [1122d]
• Teachers Reveal Why They Are Quitting Their Jobs [1122d]
• Report: This Article Has Been Edited For Content And Formatted To Fit Your Screen [1122d]
• Scientists Plan To Resurrect Extinct Tasmanian Tiger [1122d]
• Towel-Clad Firefighters Race To Scene Straight From Shower [1122d]
• Big Ben Undergoes Routine Cleaning To Remove Hapless Tourists Dangling From Minute Hand [1122d]
• Tearful Norwegian Teen Bids Goodbye To Parents Before Leaving For National Service In Black-Metal Band [1122d]