The Brutalist Report

The Onion

• Biden Claps In Amazement After FBI Agent Pulls Classified Document From Behind His Ear [1204d]
• Biologists Torture Amoeba For Information On Where Life Came From [1204d]
• Astronaut Buzz Aldrin Marries Longtime Hallucination Of Sexy Space Babe [1204d]
• School Resource Officer Has Personalized Chokeslam For Every Student [1204d]
• ‘No Way To Prevent This,’ Says Only Nation Where This Regularly Happens [1204d]
• Report: Minority Of Murders Committed By Someone Victim Didn’t Know, But Could Have If They Had Gone Out And Socialized More [1204d]
• Americans Explain Why They Prefer Gas Over Electric Cars [1204d]
• ‘I Love That It Has Pockets,’ Says Woman Showing Off New Boyfriend [1204d]
• Harrangue Up Your Purchases [1204d]
• Sailor Survives 24 Days At Sea Eating Only Ketchup, Seasonings [1204d]
• Wealthy Family Sent Little Life Update On Senator They’re Sponsoring [1204d]
• Conservatives Defend Their Right To Have Gas Stoves [1204d]