The Brutalist Report

The Onion

• Trump Takes Out Full-Page Newspaper Ad Calling For Death Penalty For Himself [1132d]
• FBI Celebrates With Traditional Martin Luther King Jr. Assassination Day Cake [1132d]
• Trump Uses One Phone Call To Dial Up Own Answering Machine To Hear His Voice [1132d]
• NYPD Arrests Trump After Routine Stop-And-Frisk Turns Up Unlicensed Handgun, 400 Mg Of Ketamine [1132d]
• Backlog In Legal System Leads To Trump Trial Scheduled For 2037 [1132d]
• Jill Biden Invites Any Woman Who Has Ever Touched Basketball To Visit White House [1132d]
• ‘We Need More American-Made Semiconductors,’ Says Man Who Barely Understands How A Stapler Works [1132d]
• Biden Announces Nation Can Stay Up Till 9:30 Tonight [1132d]
• Influencers React To A Potential TikTok Ban [1132d]
• Bolsonaro Returns To Brazil [1132d]
• New York Local Counsels Friend On How To Masturbate On Subway Without Looking Like Tourist [1132d]
• Lori Lightfoot Solemnly Removes Official Mayoral Jamiroquai Hat [1132d]
• Nonprofit No Longer Recalls Who They Were Originally Planning To Help [1132d]
• Woman Describes Visiting Boyfriend’s Lower-Class Family Like It Some Type Of Foreign Exchange Program [1132d]
• NCAA Awards Title To Duke In Final Upset Of March Madness [1132d]